... as the door shuts behind me, the thud of the metal lock echoing down the hallway. The rain starts to fall as I step out into the road leading away from the hotel. I can feel the heat pressing against me, the cool rain dripping into my hair from the trees above. The bats are awake, flapping around chaotically, chirping like birds and disappearing into the hollow sky above. I walk slowly at first, not minding my steps and mumbling to myself, "I must be crazy". My pace quickens as I get to the street, rounding the corner that will take me home. I'm getting wet, but I don't mind the rain because my head is filled with too many thoughts, too busy to notice the weather but awake enough to notice a child sleeping on the sidewalk and the prying eyes of a xe om driver looking to meet his meager profit margin for the night.
Every night is the same and yet every night is different. For a few hours, I'm no longer consumed by the suffering of this city. Instead, I am dreaming awake, looking forward into the future and talking about my plans. Somewhere between the past and the present, I became jaded by my own complexes, worn by a world that has lost faith in itself. Searching for love without sin is like looking for clean mud, nothing is both so simple yet unwaveringly complex as the human heart. I walk home, reflecting on the last six weeks of my life and how they have changed me, prioritizing my worries and making a list of burdens. I conclude that it's pointless, I'm holding onto my own suffering and giving myself a bigger headache than I need.
I walk home quickly, carefully stepping around the broken pavement and downed power lines, humming "Norwegian Wood" to myself as the rain comes down even harder. I wonder if the last few days have been a figment of my imagination, a dream meant to remind me that I don't need to be so jaded. I'm still young, there's no need for despair, it's a waste of time.
Every night is the same and yet every night is different. For a few hours, I'm no longer consumed by the suffering of this city. Instead, I am dreaming awake, looking forward into the future and talking about my plans. Somewhere between the past and the present, I became jaded by my own complexes, worn by a world that has lost faith in itself. Searching for love without sin is like looking for clean mud, nothing is both so simple yet unwaveringly complex as the human heart. I walk home, reflecting on the last six weeks of my life and how they have changed me, prioritizing my worries and making a list of burdens. I conclude that it's pointless, I'm holding onto my own suffering and giving myself a bigger headache than I need.
I walk home quickly, carefully stepping around the broken pavement and downed power lines, humming "Norwegian Wood" to myself as the rain comes down even harder. I wonder if the last few days have been a figment of my imagination, a dream meant to remind me that I don't need to be so jaded. I'm still young, there's no need for despair, it's a waste of time.
1 comment:
chin up....things will work out and in the meantime, have fun and stay safe!
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